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Mar
18

Eaglesfans1

Specifically, GQ says Philadelphia Eagles and Phillies fans are tied for the worst.

As the Philadelphia Daily News notes, GQ‘s rankings are highly subjective, and they trot out the tired old stories you’ve already heard, about how Philly fans booed Santa Claus, and how Michael Irvin was treated to a profane barrage as he was carted off the field with a career-ending neck injury.

Eagles fans rated as worst in America | ProFootballTalk

Awwww, the Philadelphia Daily News got all butt hurt about these rankings. And by the Philadelphia Daily News, I mean some fat hairy slob sportswriter that is stuffing his face with a Philly Cheese Steak in his one bedroom apartment while he defends himself.

And just for the record – G fucking Q? Since when did those rainbow warriors start pretending they knew dick about sports? Shouldn’t they be concentrating on skinny jeans and Laddy Gaga?

Mar
18

andrew-dice-clay

Remember the Diceman? Of course you do – in fact, you probably have his first two albums memorized and still have the ticket stubs from the three stadium shows you traveled hundreds of miles to see – loser. But you’re not the biggest loser – Dice has decided that the title of the The Biggest Loser in the World goes to the totally bitchin rock star from Mars: 

"I’m sick of watching the Charlie f***ing Sheen show.”

Clay ended his angry explosion telling Sheen, "You’re not a rock star, you’re not a comic.  You’re the biggest f***ing loser in the world as far as I’m concerned, okay?  Go get the help you f***ing need.

“Nobody’s on Twitter saying, ‘Charlie’s great, Charlie’s winning. Everybody’s watching you fall and everybody’s afraid to say it to you. Get f***ing help."

VIDEO: Charlie Sheen Is ‘The Biggest Loser in the World’ Says Andrew Dice Clay | Radar Online

This is only a snip of what Dice had to say – I highly recommend reading the whole article and watching the video. Pretty funny coming from from a man whose whole career was a handful of dirty nursery rhymes.

Mar
08

He may have Tiger Blood, Adonis DNA and a new twitter account. But you know what Charlie Sheen doesn’t have? A J.O.B.

CBS canned his coked-up ass this afternoon. The Totally Bitchin Rock Star From Mars’ response?

Charlie-Sheen-Crazy

"They exercised such a cheap move and [this is] so silly and so transparent and… it’s so juvenile. It is the work of infants. It is the work of silly infants and it’s just — if this is what it had to come to, to get me out of those silly shirts, then so be it. So maybe I’ll wear one, just on the final day when I go and remove all of their bazillions."

Charlie Sheen Reacts To Getting ‘Two And A Half Men’ Axe Via Text: ‘It’s Just Deplorable & They Should Be Ashamed!’ – News – Yahoo! TV

Wow. I thought this response was of the pot-kettle variety, but then he slipped in the comment about the shirts. You know what – that is the most lucid thing he’s said in a month. Those fucking shirts were a joke, and he knew it all along. I guess $2M an episode will make you do some pretty stupid shit. Almost as stupid as the shit you do when you lose your job, kids and dignity in the matter of a week.

Fuck this woman beating crack head. Anyone want to bet that this news doesn’t induce a weeklong, life threatening bender? Sorry, Charlie – adios!

Mar
08

ept_sports_nfl_experts-142297309-1299515247

Here we see New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady(notes) and the little missus enjoying themselves at Carnival in Rio de Janeiro on Sunday.

Tom Brady is now sporting a handsome little ponytail – Shutdown Corner – NFL  – Yahoo! Sports

OK, this guy spent the last year trying to hide his receding hairline with the Justin Beiber hairdo. I think it was scientifically proven that he was the only straight male over the age of 17 to sport The Beiber.

Well, now Justin Beiber has cut his hair  OH SHIT, WHAT WILL TOM BRADY DO? Well, obviously he will pull his hair back in a stupid looking ponytail. Why not just cut his hair like Bieber, you may ask? Because if he did that it would show his Christopher Lee-like hairline. Hence the ugly, thin, greasy street punk look. Genetics are a bitch, aren’t they Tommy?

Mar
03

newsofap_com4c17bf1fa6917kim-kardashian-totoohot

The 30-year-old can now add “singer” to her resume.

The reality star released her first single “Jam (Turn it Up)” on Wednesday.

“This is like a really big deal,” she told Ryan Seacrest on his KISS FM radio show.

The buxom brunette may know how to strike a pose for the camera or hawk products, but singing is something new for her.

"I’m human, I’ve never, you know, sang before," she told the radio show about her new collaboration with songwriter and producer The-Dream.

Kim Kardashian releases new single « Entertainment

Kim Kardashian is known for big tits, a huge ass, and and now a ridiculously small voice. My God, who thought this garbage would appeal to anyone? Go find it online – listen to the whole thing – think about the lyrics and immerse yourself in the melody – and then thank me and Kim K for wasting 3 minutes of your life.

Mar
03

Cubs_tradition

Baseball’s almost back, which means that the Cub’s are almost back to make every other sports fan feel good about their team.

Carlos Silva and Aramis Ramirez were involved in a dugout skirmish after a three-error first inning Wednesday, including one by the Cubs third baseman, and manager Mike Quade said he would address the team on Thursday.

Quade said he planned to talk to the players after Wednesday’s game, a 12-5 loss to the Brewers, as his team made five more errors. The spring total now is a 1-3 record, 14 errors and one altercation.

"These are things you don’t like and don’t want," Quade said. "You want everything to go real smooth, and it doesn’t all the time. I’d almost rather that than complacency. … As frustrated as I was watching, you wonder, ‘Will somebody say something besides me?’ We’ll try to build on this tomorrow and wake the group up."

Cubs pitcher Carlos Silva and third baseman Aramis Ramirez involved in dugout skirmish | cubs.com: News

OK, if you’re named after a shitty cologne, you’re probably sensitive. But getting in a fight the second day of spring training? Wow.

Feb
25

kemp dunks on rodman 2

The NBA Dunk Contest was watched by 14 people, and it looks like one of those people was Shawn Kemp – the other thirteen were his kids:

Shawn Kemp, out of nowhere, has come out of the woodwork to criticize the final dunk of Blake Griffin’s(notes) Dunk Contest-winning repertoire. The 41-year-old former SuperSonics, Cavaliers, Trail Blazers and Magic forward apparently didn’t like the final-round dunk that saw Blake jump over a Kia Optima, and before you make up your mind about Kemp, listen to what he has to say.

As explained to KJR radio in Seattle, and lovingly transcribed by Sports Radio Interviews:

"I’m a big Blake Griffin fan, but that dunk at the contest might’ve been the weakest dunk in the dunk contest that I’ve seen in a long time. I love the choir and all that stuff was great, but you at least gotta jump over the car though right? He swung over the car and landed on the hood of the car. I think he should at least be able to jump over the front of the car."

You have to admit, Shawn isn’t wrong here.

Shawn Kemp rips Blake Griffin’s dunk – Ball Don’t Lie – NBA  – Yahoo! Sports

Yep, I watched the video and that dunk was weaker than anything Tim Duncan has thrown down in his life. And that’s weak…

Feb
25

Celtics-Thug-Player-Kendrick-Perkins-Starting-Trouble-Again-in-the-NBA

It was trade deadline day today, and the Boston Celtics – who were the odds on favorites to win the East – decided to trade one of the best centers in the game (and a good backup point guard) for a bad center and Jeff “Where Do I Fit in the NBA” Green.

Just before Thursday’s 3 p.m. ET trade deadline, the Boston Celtics agreed to ship center Kendrick Perkins and guard Nate Robinson to the Oklahoma City Thunder for forward Jeff Green and big man Nenad Krstic, two league sources said.

Neither team was done, though.

The Celtics also traded rookie center Semih Erden and forward Luke Harangody to the Cleveland Cavaliers for a second-round draft pick.

While the Celtics were unloading big men, the Thunder acquired another one, sending Morris Peterson and D.J. White to Charlotte for center Nazr Mohammed, sources told ESPN The Magazine’s Ric Bucher.

Sources: Boston Celtics get Oklahoma City Thunder’s Jeff Green in Kendrick Perkins deal – ESPN Boston

Wha? Perkins for Nenad “Buy a Vowel and Some Game” Krstic? This had to be a move to get Jeff Green. JEFF GREEN. Holy shit, Boston GM Danny Ainge just made the Thunder a bona fide contender and took his team out of the race. Sucks that the Heat will win the East now, but let me just say…

THUNDER!!!

 

Feb
25

31894-warren-haynes

Really looking forward to this:

Gov’t Mule co-founder and Allman Brothers Band guitarist Warren Haynes will shows his roots as a soul man with the May 10 release of his fourth solo album, "Man in Motion" (Stax/Concord Music Group).

The 10-song set, recorded in Willie Nelson’s Pedernales Studio near Austin, Texas, with regular cohort Gordie Johnson of Big Sugar co-producing, finds Haynes determinedly mining an R&B approach steeped in influences from Stax, Muscle Shoals and Memphis’ Hi Records.

"My first love was soul music," Haynes tells Billboard.com. "The first sound I can remember having an effect on me was black gospel music coming over the radio in North Carolina. James Brown was my first musical hero, then the Four Tops and Temptations, Wilson Pickett, Otis Redding, Sam & Dave. Somewhere along the way I heard Ray Charles and B.B. King.

"So (soul) has always been there for me, and I’ve waited a long time to really put that across on an album. I just thought it was time to make that sort of record."

In fact, Haynes says that some of the songs on "Man in Motion" date back quite a ways — 20 years for "Real Lonely Night," and 10 for "Your Wildest Dreams." "Through the years I compiled a few song that wanted to be captured this way," Haynes notes. "I’d resigned myself to thinking someone else would wind up recording them other than myself, but then this project came about." The album also includes a cover of Stax singer William Bell’s "Everyday Will Be Like a Holiday."

Haynes recorded "Man in Motion" with an all-star band that includes several New Orleans musicians — Meters bassist George Porter, Jr., keyboardist Ivan Neville and drummer Raymond Webber — as well as Austin-based keyboardist Ian McLagan, singer Ruthie Foster and tenor saxophonist Ron Holloway. "It was the exact band I wanted for the record. Everybody that was first on my list was available, and we made it work," says Haynes, although he had not met McLagan before the sessions.

"Ian was a last minute add-on that Gordie suggested," recalls Haynes, who played a variety of vintage hollow body guitars in addition to his usual Gibson Les Paul on the album. "He was thinking (McLagan) would add a cool vibe, like a soul-music version of the Garth Hudson-Richard Manual thing in the Band. And it freed me up to take more of a B.B. King role, singing and playing fills. I played a little more rhythm than, say B.B., but I wasn’t having to think that way all the time. We set up in the studio with everybody looking at each other and recorded live, which is what we love to do."

Haynes debuted the band at his annual Christmas Jam during December in Asheville, N.C., and he’s eyeballing a tour that will start in April, most likely in Australia, and run throughout the summer. Terrence Higgins will be on the drum stool, while Neville and Foster are up in the air at the moment.

Meanwhile, with Gov’t Mule taking "a well-deserved break," Haynes is also gearing up for the Allmans’ annual March residency at New York’s Beacon Theater, which begins March 10. "Everybody’s excited to get back in," Haynes reports, adding that he’s still waiting on details of a summer tour that Gregg Allman has predicted will also happen this year. "I think everybody would like for there to be one," Haynes says. "But Gregg has a record out. I’ve got a record coming out. So does Derek (Trucks). Getting all the schedules together is not easy, but if we can get it together it’ll be great."

Here is the track list for Warren Haynes’ "Man In Motion":

"Man in Motion"
"River’s Gonna Rise"
"Everybday Will Be Like a Holiday"
"Sick of My Shadow"
"Your Wildest Dreams"
"Real Lonely Night"
"Hattiesburg Hustle"
"A Friend to You"
"Take a Bullet"
"Save Me"

Warren Haynes Mines His Soul Roots On ‘Man in Motion’ Album, Due in May | Billboard.com

Feb
23

Asked about political aspirations, George Clooney made the following statement which also explains the terminal smug-as-shit look on his face:

"I didn’t live my life in the right way for politics, you know," he says. "I f–ed too many chicks and did too many drugs, and that’s the truth."

A smart campaigner, he believes, "would start from the beginning by saying, ‘I did it all. I drank the bong water. Now let’s talk about issues.’ That’s gonna be my campaign slogan: ‘I drank the bong water.’

George Clooney: I’ve done ‘too many chicks,’ ‘too many drugs’ – USATODAY.com

elisabetta-canalis-thong-bikini-007

Clooney’s Girlfriend With Her Friends  and the Luckiest Dog on Earth

You have to feel sorry for this man. “Fucked too many women?” “Did too many drugs?” Poor George. We all know that neither exist, and it is obviously a sign of severe mental derangement. I think I should step up and take his place in the world while he seeks years of intense therapy. It’s the least I can do, right?